Just Deserts
by railise
Summary: A revenge war is breaking out, in the form of pranks. Set about a week after 3x01-02.


**Prompt:** OT4 April's Fool  
**A/N:** For **ag_fics** Team Fic Battle.

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It began with a bucket of water propped over the door to Arthur's bedchamber.

There was no question but that Merlin had been the one to put it there. He was rather vocal about not having forgiven Arthur for dumping the bucket over his head the week before, when he was scrubbing the floor of Arthur's chambers just after Morgana's return to Camelot. Therefore, it was equally clear that the intended recipient had been the prince, himself.

In no way, shape, or form had Merlin expected Gwen to open that door first.

"You have done a lot of stupid things in your time, Merlin, but this is too stupid, even for you!" Arthur glared at his manservant.

"I'm sorry," Merlin said sincerely, his eyes going to where Gwen was wrapped in Arthur's blue cloak, a puddle around her feet and her hair hanging wetly around her shoulders. He felt just awful about it, but Arthur was unmoved by his regret.

"I cannot even decide what to do with you right now," Arthur continued to fume. "Get out of my sight!"

"Arthur," Gwen protested gently, but Merlin knew it was best to disappear for awhile when Arthur got like that. With a look at her that was equal parts apology and thanks, Merlin hurried out of the room.

"Honestly, I should just... throw him to the wolves!" Arthur turned to Gwen in frustration.

She smiled at the unlikely suggestion. "That is one option," she agreed. "Or, we could do something a bit more creative." Her eyes sparkled with humor.

"More creative than wolves?" He was teasing with that, unable to remain worked up when Guinevere was smiling like that, even if he was still displeased that she was sopping wet and probably very uncomfortable. "What did you have in mind?"

It took a couple of days- and Arthur requesting that poultry be served to the entire court on both of those days- for Gwen's plan to be ready. Once it was set up, the two of them hid with Gaius down the corridor from the physician's chambers; Gaius had approved of the idea, even if it meant his own chamber would be be affected. None of them could see anything if they wished to remain hidden from Merlin, so they awaited his yell.

Footsteps sounded from the opposite end of the corridor, and the three conspirators got ready to see the results of their handiwork. However, the cry that reached their ears was not Merlin's. They rushed into the physician's chambers, where feathers flitted through the air and drifted along the floor, originating from Merlin's room. Going to his door, they discovered that the result was even better than they could have anticipated: a few solid inches of feathers covered his floor, his bed, his cupboard... everything. Until the string stretched across the floor had been tripped, the feathers had been contained in burlap overhead; now, the rough fabric hung down from where Arthur had nailed parts of it to the ceiling.

Rather than Merlin standing in the middle of his room, also covered in feathers, they found a confused and rather irate Morgana.

"What is the meaning of this?" she demanded.

Gwen's hand flew to her mouth, and Gaius hung back behind the actual guilty parties. Arthur burst out laughing.

"I don't see what's so funny," Morgana snapped, marching toward them to get out of the fluffy mess.

"I'm sorry," Arthur said, still laughing too much to sound remotely like he meant it. "That was intended for Merlin."

"I figured that much out for myself." Morgana shot him a look as she began brushing off her gown. Gwen hurried over to help her get the feathers out of her hair.

"What were you doing in Merlin's room, my lady?" Gaius asked curiously.

Morgana hesitated, then replied, "You were not to be found, so I was checking to see if Merlin was."

"Ah," he said neutrally. "Well, as I am here now, is there something I can help you with?"

She shook her head. "Never mind; it's not important." Turning to Gwen and Arthur, she said, "You're trying to play a trick on Merlin?"

"He started it," Arthur said, realizing as soon as the words were out of his mouth how childish that sounded. Gwen bit her lip in a failed attempt to keep from smiling.

They quickly explained the situation to Morgana. She tilted her head thoughtfully. "This was good, but I think we can do even better," she told them, her lips curving into something that struck Gwen as being uncomfortably close to a smirk.

That night, Merlin collapsed into bed. Arthur had worked him to the bone that afternoon, and when he had finally been allowed to stagger back to his bedchamber, it was to find it buried under a thick layer of feathers, which he then had to clean up. It felt like Morgana was probably involved somehow, but that was just common sense; Gaius appeared to be as perplexed as Merlin was about it, but assured him that he had never heard of thousands of feathers being any indication of a curse or enchantment.

When Merlin finally fell asleep, it was the sleep of the exhausted- the sort of sleep which almost nothing could interrupt. Even a rogue feather floating over to tickle his nose would have normally been brushed away in an unconscious manner.

However, since the hand that did the brushing away was full of cream which was then smeared over his face, he came awake with a confused start... which grew into an even more startled confusion when he tried to sit up, only to brush against _something_, and immediately there was a crash on the far side of his room. He hollered at that and jumped- straight into something else, followed by another crash on the opposite side of the room. He could not see a thing in the dark of the night, had no idea what was going on, and attempted to get out of his room, but the attempt was hampered by what seemed to be a thick web of some sort, and unknown things crashing all around him.

"_Gaius!_" he yelled, not wanting to involve his friend if it was something sinister, but not knowing what else to do. He had just opened his mouth to use an illumination spell when his door opened, and he quickly swallowed the words.

Arthur, Gwen, and Morgana stood there; Arthur looked amused, Gwen looked guilty, and Morgana was most definitely smirking. Arthur held up a lantern, which allowed Merlin to see that the "web" was, in fact, a couple of dozen ropes, with metal pitchers tied to the ends. The ropes had apparently been strung across his room in a way that he would bump into them, which in turn would knock the metal pitchers around; hence, the crashes.

"Problem, Merlin?" Morgana drawled, with mock sympathy.

"What...?" He peered around again, spotting several feathers he had missed when cleaning earlier. Words failing him, he settled for, "Why?"

Arthur jabbed a finger at him. "Do not _ever_ try to play a trick on me again."

"I'm sorry, Merlin," Gwen said. "I think it was a bit too much, but it was either this, or Arthur was going to feed you to wolves for dumping that bucket on me."

Arthur nodded seriously when Merlin glanced at him.

"Why is Morgana part of it, then?" Merlin queried snippishly.

"Why shouldn't I be?" she retorted. "Next time, keep your feathers to yourself."

Merlin blinked. "Feathers? ...wait, do any of you know about that?"

"Good night, Merlin," Gwen said quickly, and Arthur echoed it as they suddenly hurried away.

"Good night, Merlin," Morgana sneered, following them at a more sedate pace.

Picking his way over the fallen ropes, Merlin made his way to Gaius's room and found the healer sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Arthur was set on the wolves," Gaius said in lieu of an apology. "I couldn't allow that."

Merlin sighed. "I'm not cleaning this up tonight."

"You'll probably forget about it and trip on it in the morning," Gaius warned, not unkindly.

"Then, that'll give me more incentive to think of a way to get them all back. For now, I'm going back to sleep." Merlin yawned, then recoiled a little. He had forgotten about the cream on his face and hand, which was now crusting over. "After I wash."

Gaius chuckled and climbed under his blankets. "Try to keep the noise down to a dull clatter when you go back to your room."

"Ha." With another yawn, Merlin shuffled over to the wash basin.


End file.
